The World Is Running Out Of Fertiliser - Get Your Order In Quick

One lone voice in the wilderness has made the shocking allegation that fertiliser companies are guilty of artificially inflating prices. The very idea.

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"Demand is sky high, and there is nothing at all left for sale, anywhere. Unless you order it now you're going to be buggered, and you'll only have yourself to blame, prices are going through the roof," said Fertiliser Ali, spokesman for the Baghdad Fertiliser Co.