ABN Announces Purchase Of Flixborough Feed Mill, Mulls Invasion Of Poland

ABN have announced the acquisition of the Flixborough feed mill from JE Porter, pending regulatory approval from the UK competition authorities.

"We decided to purchase the Flixborough mill primarily because I don't think we've got a mill in a place with an X in it," said nobody to do with anything.

"Does anyone know if there a feed mill in Ashby de la Zouch, so then we would have a full set?" they didn't add.

"After that we might move onto punctuation marks like Westward Ho! If there isn't a mill there already then it might be a good idea to build one fast."

"We aren't expecting any trouble from the competition authorities as I think we own them already," the voices inside my head concluded.

Nobody was available to comment on totally unsubstantiated reports that the group were next considering an invasion of Poland, converting Buckingham Palace into a giant drive-through Primark or launching a hostile takeover of Alistair Darling's eyebrows.