The Most Beautiful Girl In Farming?

That's what the headline in the appropriately named Meat Trade News is calling 22 year old babette Izzy Whittaker.

Judge for yourselves

Izzy has recently started working for breeding company Cogent, featuring in their recent Sexed Semen Roadshows, apparently.

As I'm sure you are well aware, Nogger is no stranger to the fairer sex, all my ex-wives have been women for a kick off. Izzy does indeed look rather fetching, although I'm sure that she's modest enough herself not to personally claim the crown of "the most beautiful girl in farming".

Note that Cogent's spokesman is tantalisingly called Hugh Pocock, surely he could have tweaked his name slightly by deed poll just for me? I'd have altered my Christian name to Hip and left it at that.

A more complicated alternative option would have been to change it to Chicken Kung and add a question mark at the end of my surname. I could then get myself a job in a Wigan Chinese restaurant, so I could both introduce myself and proffer the chef's daily recommendation all at the same time. I'm a marketing genius me.

Then there's the option of naming your first born son Limpo so that everyone starts the day with a laugh whilst the teacher marks the register. And you get the name of a new highly contagious African medical condition all rolled into one. The possibilities are endless.