Oi Capello!

He took my advice by leaving Theo at home, so let's hope that Fabio has got his WiFi dongle on him out in South Africa.

Let's start with Rob Green, what were you thinking, he's not exactly unknown for this sort of thing is he? No, in fact he IS known for doing exactly this sort of thing.

"He can't bring him off now, what would that do for his confidence?" the TV pundits et al said. Well what will leaving him on do for our confidence I ask? Indeed, judging by the panicked clearances of our centre halves subsequently, they didn't have too much confidence in him either.

Then he manges to fudge a weak shot against the post in the second half and the TV shower are positively staging a cumulative hand shandy over his efforts. What is going on? "That will do him the world of good." Will it, well it hasn't done me anything but harm so get him off.

When his confidence is back to where it should be then I might pick him again. If Tommy Lawrence "the flying pig" isn't free that is.

And please do not replace him with "Calamity" either. Joe Hart is the best of the bunch, you brought him out here so give him a go.

SWP: what can I say, the sad little disabled lad with rickets on the wing. Clearly not up to the job. Never pick him again. Ever.

Heskey: well there is a conundrum. If that is the best we have then it's a sad day for us all. But then again, he wasn't really that bad. I can hear the pundit chatter in my ears now: he sets up loads of goals for others, he frees open the space, he does loads of unseen things we mere mortals don't understand. He is rubbish though so let's get rid.

Lampard/Gerrard: the Chuckle Bros. To me, to you. It doesn't work, they hate each other and continually want to outdo one another.

But apart from that it's going well!