Nogger's Blog

25/03/11 -- Milk quota trader Ian Potter has won the prestigious Royal Association of British Dairy Farmers' Princess Royal Award for his outstanding services to the industry, according to this article in Farmers' Weekly.

Amusingly, FW call him a "milk quoter trader" - or they do until they read this and change it - what's one of those then? "My horse, my horse, my kingdom for a couple of pints of gold top and a tub of single cream" - fifty quid that, come on I'm practically giving it away. Do I hear forty five? I'll take forty then, and you're having my eyes out at that you tight buggers....sold.

Right, next up, lot 348, we've got telephone bids on this one: "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it milk" - do I hear three thousand anywhere in the room?

I wish I'd have been there to interview him after the ceremony. I think that the conversation might have gone something like this:

N: "Well done, and congratulations, you must be thrilled"

P: "Indeed, I am most honoured"

N: "So how is this going to affect all your wizardry and that?"

P: "I'm sorry, I don't quite follow you"

N: "Follow me, follow me squire, that's good. You know, your M-A-G-I-C W-A-N-D, does that get to see a lot of action in the next film?"

P: "I'm still not with you, will you please stop beating about the bush?"

N: "Bush, he he, like it squire, like it. Come on, do you tup Hermione in the next one or what?"

P: "Can somebody call security please?"