Government announces new radical solution to crisis gripping British agriculture
A shocking leaked government report today reveals that of the total farm labour force in the UK, a stunning 16,000 people are GINGER.
The report goes on to reveal that 8,700, MORE THAN HALF, are based in Scotland.
The report cites some radical thinking in ministerial quarters, revealing that the government are to announce incentives for the remaining 7,200 English and Welsh ginger workers to relocate north of the border with offers of cheap farms.
"We propose to turn Scotland into one giant Ginger Safari Park and working farm, a place where gingers can be among their own and breed in relative freedom," a minister announced proudly.
"Coach loads of blondes & brunettes will be trucked in for day trips to see ginger farmers living and working in their own natural habitat," he said.
"It'll be a bit like Alton Towers, but without the rides," he went on, revealing that Duracell are already lined up to sponsor the deal.
The report goes on to reveal that 8,700, MORE THAN HALF, are based in Scotland.
The report cites some radical thinking in ministerial quarters, revealing that the government are to announce incentives for the remaining 7,200 English and Welsh ginger workers to relocate north of the border with offers of cheap farms.
"We propose to turn Scotland into one giant Ginger Safari Park and working farm, a place where gingers can be among their own and breed in relative freedom," a minister announced proudly.
"Coach loads of blondes & brunettes will be trucked in for day trips to see ginger farmers living and working in their own natural habitat," he said.
"It'll be a bit like Alton Towers, but without the rides," he went on, revealing that Duracell are already lined up to sponsor the deal.
