Wheat: Clarissa Dickson-Wright on acid?

Crude oil is having a party & we are all invited!! Crude Oil's party's are always good, simply everybody who's anybody simply MUST be there. Soyoil is there, the beautiful, vibrant, slightly dangerous one in the skin-tight dress that all the blokes are oggling. There's Miss Soybeans her slightly less attractive, but more approachable friend, get in with her & you get in with Miss Soyoil as well. Young Soymeal is Soybean's younger sister bless, you're not really that interested in her, but she may be something to fall back on later. Corn, popular, dependable if ever so slightly un-dangerous corn, the sort of agricultural commodity you'll marry. Urrrgh, who the hell is that at the back of the rooming trying to hide behind the lampshade? She looks like Clarissa Dickson-Wright on acid. That gentlemen is Miss Wheat. She'll be crying into her pillow at home again later once Crude Oil's Mum & Dad, Mr & Mrs Goldman Sachs come home at midnight & turf everybody out.