Fuel Crisis Deepens As Rooney Flies Family To Italian Wedding

The UK fuel crisis has worsened today following Wayne Rooney's last minute decision to fly his raggle-taggle chavvy gypsy family out to Italy to witness his lavish wedding.

Rooney was estranged from the bulk of his beer-swilling boob-flashing toothless brood following their media-hungry attacks on his pointless fiancee. However, recent talks with close family members resulted in 14 Boeing 747's being hired to fly out the Rooney clan to Portofino in a last minute reconciliation.

While millions of Britains queued by the pumps for a the last few remaining drops of petrol priced at £1.30 per litre, tankers were diverted to Heathrow to fuel the jets.

Meanwhile the Ministry of Panicking has warned motorists not to panic, sparking widespread panicking.