Fuel Crisis Deepens As Rooney Flies Family To Italian Wedding
The UK fuel crisis has worsened today following Wayne Rooney's last minute decision to fly his raggle-taggle chavvy gypsy family out to Italy to witness his lavish wedding.
Rooney was estranged from the bulk of his beer-swilling boob-flashing toothless brood following their media-hungry attacks on his pointless fiancee. However, recent talks with close family members resulted in 14 Boeing 747's being hired to fly out the Rooney clan to Portofino in a last minute reconciliation.
While millions of Britains queued by the pumps for a the last few remaining drops of petrol priced at £1.30 per litre, tankers were diverted to Heathrow to fuel the jets.
Meanwhile the Ministry of Panicking has warned motorists not to panic, sparking widespread panicking.
Rooney was estranged from the bulk of his beer-swilling boob-flashing toothless brood following their media-hungry attacks on his pointless fiancee. However, recent talks with close family members resulted in 14 Boeing 747's being hired to fly out the Rooney clan to Portofino in a last minute reconciliation.
While millions of Britains queued by the pumps for a the last few remaining drops of petrol priced at £1.30 per litre, tankers were diverted to Heathrow to fuel the jets.
Meanwhile the Ministry of Panicking has warned motorists not to panic, sparking widespread panicking.
