French Raise Terror Alert

French police acting on a tip-off discovered dynamite hidden in leading Pais department store Printemps today. The explosives were found in the third floor restroom of the menswear department.

French news agency Agence France-Presse said it received a letter Tuesday morning from a group calling itself the Afghan Revolutionary Front saying that several bombs had been planted in the store.

In the letter, the group demanded the withdrawal of French troops from Afghanistan.

Following the discovery, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, officially raised the country's terror alert from "RUN" to "HIDE".

Did you know that we were once at war with the French for 116 years? They called it the Hundred Years' War for some reason, it must have been a typo. Anyway, the only reason it lasted so long was that we were enjoying beating them so much we decided to pan it out a bit.