Yes, We Have No Bananas

Despite its unmistakably phallic appearance, it hasn't had sex for thousands of years. The world's most erotic fruit is a sterile, seedless mutant -- and therein lies a problem.

The original banana was first harvested from the jungles of Southeast Asia over 10,000 years ago. But its Stone Age discoverers had to chew on hundreds of hard seeds that provided the banana with its ability to reproduce and evolve new traits in an ever-changing landscape.

Thanks to Mother Nature (also known as evolution), occasional bananas grew without seeds. These were eagerly devoured but also widely cultivated by planting cuttings, leading eventually to a world of sterile bananas. Over time, banana crops became ancestors of these few seedless individuals, and the original, wild strains of banana have almost all been cleared.

But now fungal disease called Black Sigatoka is threatening the global banana crop. First observed in Fiji in 1963, this new virulent epidemic has spread throughout Asia.

Growers in Central America are waging a chemical war to keep their banana crops healthy, and consequently bananas are arguably one of the most heavily sprayed crops worldwide. Women in Costa Rican banana-packing plants reportedly suffer double the average rates of leukemia and birth defects, and many male banana pickers become sterile.

Even though the most toxic chemical, called dibromochloropropane, was banned, many other fungicides are still used generously, in hopes of keeping Black Sigatoka in check. Only one dirty boot traipsing in Asia and then flying to Costa Rica will be enough to transplant the spores to the new world. It is only a matter of time, given the mobility and carelessness of human travelers.

Other plants have similarly lost their sex lives due to industrialized agriculture. By this process, growers lose nature's plasticity, otherwise known as the gene pool, that allows plants to combat future diseases or enemies.

Grapes, coffee, tomatoes and soybeans have all been reduced to one or two dominant strains planted throughout the world, making them extremely vulnerable to disease. Humankind has not been prudent about saving wild stocks of these important plant species. Wild stocks may be the only salvation to a future harvest, since they contain the genetic variability that may counter disease and insect attacks.

So, banana lovers, it may be time to develop an appetite for an alternative fruit. The future of bananas is in jeopardy because humankind has created a monoculture of sexless, genetically identical bananas that may not be genetically capable of survival.