Cargill Profits Slide, Three Cheers For Them

Cargill reported a 69% drop in Q4 earnings yesterday, chipping in with a measly $327 million, compared to a monster "would you like to go large with that" $1.05 billion in the previous year.

The global recession was to blame: "The path to economic recovery may well be uneven," said Cargill CEO Greg Page.

He's obviously never been down the Dock Road in Liverpool. That's what uneven looks like Mr Page.

Full year earnings were only 16% down, buoyed by a strong first half, at a paltry $3.33 billion.

Generous and shy Cargill donated $5 million to world hunger last year. Three cheers for them.

By my calculations that's the equivalent of 600,000 kebabs (with everything on), or just about enough for one a day for every man, woman & child in Swinderby for two years. Not enough for a potion of chips as well, mind. And if you want a can of coke to wash it down with, forget it. The tight bastards.

Sits, waits for phone to ring...It's Flange, Jockstrap & Butt Plug here, solicitors...