EU Wheat Soars Higher On Shock Export News

EU wheat soared to it's highest levels since yesterday today, buoyed by surprise export interest from Outer Space.

London November feed wheat was up 75 pence, it's highest since Friday on a massive wave of inter-galactic consumer buying.

A huge raft of sightings of crop circles on Google Earth is positive proof that the world will begin exporting wheat to other planets by harvest 2010, say experts.

The sightings prove that alien craft have already landed and officials are carrying out high-level negotiations to buy our entire global wheat surplus in one fell swoop, they add.

"It is understood that India have already sold their entire state-owned wheat stocks to Martians," said Professor Drew Peacock of NASA.

"I was dithering about whether to plant winter wheat for next season, having taken a absolute pasting every year bar one for my entire adult life," said UK cereal grower Johnny Giles, 69, who farms three million acres in Rutland.

"This has restored my faith, I'm going to plant six times as much as last year and live in the Maldives on the proceeds," he added enthusiastically.

"Every year I get conned into growing stuff that nobody wants, only to have to sell it below the cost of production at harvest-time after paying top whack for my fertiliser and seed, but this rally is just the start," he beamed.

"It's all rather jolly exciting, we're forecasting wheat could be £1,000/tonne off the combine next harvest," he added.

"I'll probably let a bit go at that, then see what happens once the rings of Uranus are forced to come into the market cap-in-hand," he concluded.