Things That Really Annoy Me #3

Being forced by Mrs Nogger to watch some Christmas No 1 programme on the telly on Saturday night, and now I can't get Shakin' Stevens out of my head.

It was quite amusing seeing Roy Wood attempting to get a cute little school girl to give him a peck on the cheek though. The look in her eyes said "I'm not kissing you you freak, I only said I'd do this so I could get the day off school."

The weird one in Mud was there too, the one who always used to wear women's clothes and looks like a dead ringer for my ex Mother-in-law, except more feminine.

Apparently the bookies don't take bets on Christmas No 1 anymore, as it's too much of a certainty to be whoever wins the X Factor. So in an attempt to still wring some cash out of us they are offering odds on the Christmas No 2 instead it seems.

The big daddy of Christmas cash-in's - Sir Cliff - is a tempting 50/1 if you fancy a nibble of his festive offering. Or perhaps George Michael, himself also no stranger to number two's, tickles your fancy at 12's?

The bizarre duet of Rolf Harris and Status Quo's Rick Parfitt might be worth a punt at 18's.

Christmas No 2