Personally I love it, no meal is complete without a large slab of the stuff in my humble opinion. I've tried vegetarian food and just don't like it, I'm sorry but that's just the way it is. I am very careful to make sure I get my five a day in of course. Chips, they're made from vegetables aren't they? Mushy peas, that's another box ticked, and I always have toms, beans and mushrooms with a fried breakfast. There you go five.

I usually have a bit of salad with my kebab. And I will always go for the pineapple option to top off a gammon, so that's a bit of fruit thrown in, I'm actually quite healthy when you start to think about it.

And I'm not alone in my liking for sliced up dead animals, no siree, having gone off on a bit of a tangent this morning, I've been researching meat consumption.

Now for some reason I can't explain Australia* is missing from the data I have managed to glean. Every other civilised country in the world is there, accompanied by several uncivilised ones, but Down Under is sadly lacking. Maybe they can't count, or are too busy evicting Aboriginies from their rightful homelands, who knows. Suffice to say that the data I am about to relate excludes our Ashes losing antipodean chums. New Zealand are in there, no worries, and batting well above average as it happens, there's just no Ozzies.

OK, so who are the big meat eaters around the globe? The Argies are famed for their carnivorous appetite, aren't they? When they're not diving in the penalty area, demonstrating against the government or losing wars they're always sat in front of a steak, right? But no, they don't top the table. In fact they don't even make the top ten, the ball-handling light weights. The glamorous top spot of Premier League carnivores goes to....

Denmark. That's right the Danes eat more meat per head of population than anywhere else on the planet (unless the Ozzies are so busy eating it that they haven't got round to sending their results in). Every man, woman and child munches their way through more than 145kg of the stuff every year. Hats off to them. Let's hope it's Danish bacon that they're eating, because we don't want that stuff coming over here.

Here's the world meat munching top ten:

Denmark 145.9kg/head
New Zealand 142.1
Luxemborg 141.7
Cyprus 131.3
US 124.8
Bahamas 123.6
Greenland 113.8
French Polynesia 112.2
Mongolia 108.8
Canada 108.1

Impressive performance by Mongolia there, although I suspect that we are using the word "meat" in it's loosest form. They can't wait for Christmas to come over there you know. They're more interested in who's pulling Santa's sleigh than what's in it. Ditto Greenland, where the expression "shall we go out clubbing tonight?" has an entirely different meaning. Forget about the Bahamas, that's just where rich fat Americans live.

If you are interested, the Irish just dip out on a top ten place, coming eleventh with 106.3kg, with the carrot-loving UK down in 33rd (despite my best efforts) at 79.6kg/head. The "legendary" Argies only make it to 16th with a weedy 97.6kg, a darn sight more than Bhutan mind, who bring up the rear, only managing to get 3kg of meat per year down their necks. There must be a health shop on every street corner over there.

Interestingly, India are only a few places above Bhutan in 164th place consuming just 5.2kg/head. Dark horses China are 66th, eating 52.4kg.

Now then lets have a look at growth. The figures I have go back to 1961, that's appropriate as it's my birth year, so anything that happened before that is irrelevant anyway. Which countries have seen the biggest growth in meat consumption since then?

I reckon plenty of you guessed right there, yes it's our chums in the Far East, China with a growth in meat consumption of almost 1300%!

Back in 1961, the average Chinese only ate 3.8kg of meat per year, and that has now risen to 52.4kg. South Korea has also seen spectacular growth of more than 1000%. Consumption growth in the US is still quite impressive at 40%, putting them 83rd in growth terms, one place behind India. Here in the UK it's a more modest 14%.

Fascinating stuff, the most populous country on the planet has had the largest growth in meat consumption, although lying in 66th place in terms of volume of meat consumed, it has plenty of room to show further improvement.

Hmmmm, what does that tell us about demand for feed?

* A different source pegs Australian meat consumption at 110kg per capita in 2005/06 versus 91.4kg in 1968/69. That would get them into the top ten in eighth slot.