Flat For Sale

How long has the euro got? Less than five years according to a dozen of the 25 leading City economists that took part in a survey published in the Sunday Bellylaugh yesterday. Eight said it would limp through and five abstained.

One wag went as far as to say it "may not even survive the next week".

It seems fairly well touted that if the single currency can survive, then it won't be within the boundaries of the existing 16 member state set up, with talk of two-tier membership and/or various countries dropping out.

Hungary are the latest country to pop their heads up in urgent need of a slice of the rapidly disappearing rescue cake.

As a preamble to introducing unpopular austerity measures, the new Hungarian government are accusing the old one of lying to the population and markets about the financial state of the country. No surprises there then.

Germany meanwhile seem to be getting more and more hacked off with the irresponsible behaviour of its fellow eurozone members.

Think large block of multi-story flats. Germany have paid up to have the palatial penthouse apartment at the top, the one with the roof terrace jacuzzi and swimming pool. It was a lovely building, until that lot moved in.

Greece and Hungary have completely trashed their smaller ground floor apartments in the style of an ageing rock star, vomiting in the communal areas, throwing televisions out of windows, that sort of thing. And who did THAT in the lift? Germany doesn't know for sure but it has a pretty good idea. They paid for the cleaners to come in and sort it out last time, but it's happening every weekend now.

They're not sure what sort of an operation Spain and Italy are running on the second floor either, but they sure have a lot of gentleman callers.

How Frau Merkel must hanker after a quiet life, relaxing in her lederhosen and gimp mask gently combing her underarm hair in a nice quiet little dungeon in Dusseldorf?