Virgin On The Ridiculous

03/11/10 -- Just spent another couple of hours offline due to Virgin Media not sticking to their side of the bargain. The deal we have seems to involve us prepaying for a service that Virgin may or may not, at their discretion, provide.

Richard Branson may have left school with only one or two O levels* (depending on who's story you believe - counting clearly wasn't one of them), but he's evidently decided to massage his own ego by choosing to employ only people with none, judged on the service they aren't providing.

Not that long ago we had our service inexplicably cut off entirely, just hours after upgrading to the all singing, all dancing V+ package, because the cost of the guy coming out to fit the box took us over the credit limit that we didn't know we had.

Now you'd have thought that when we agreed to the upgrade they might have mentioned that wouldn't you? I mean we didn't miss paying a standing order or anything, the cost of installation kicked in around two hours after the bloke left and they just cut us off. Not a phone call or balls all, just silence.

You may not be surprised to hear that although they can cut you off just like that without a call, I mean the know the number don't they as they provide it, they can't switch you back on just like that. Oh no. They can only switch you back on, despite acknowledging that you haven't actually done anything wrong, sometime in the next 24 hours. Probably.

Today's hiccup was just a couple of enforced offline hours for no apparent reason. And sadly I don't feel like ringing Mumbai to find out what the problem was.

So Richard get in your feckin' balloon, or you solar powered bloody space ship and just feck right off to your pissin' private Caribbean eco-friendly time capsule and stay there with your one O level you useless long-haired freak.

* For the benefit of younger readers: O levels - what we used to work for at school before the new innovation of giving away GCSE's.