Random Ramblings

08/11/11 -- Just back from speaking at EPIC (the egg and poultry industry conference) in Birmingham, or kiss my arse Birmingham as MrsN#3 fondly calls it due to a monumental traffic problem we had there a year or two back.

Met loads of people, drank lots of beer, listened to some very interesting speakers and gave out lots of business cards (once again the dog's business cards were far more in demand than my own, they appear to have reached cult status, it's only a matter of time before they start popping up on eBay). I might have to get him to "sign" a few if you get my drift.

I was given what they told me was the "graveyard shift" immediately after lunch, but did my best to rally the troops with my all-time favourite chicken joke, even so one or two in the audience still managed to doze off despite my riveting address. I think that next time I do one of these things I'm going to take a klaxon horn with me, so be warned.

One of the speakers was from a leading supermarket and he came out with some interesting info, including the fact that he has dedicated screens in his office constantly monitoring what Joe and Josephine (or is it Chantelle?) Public is saying about them on Twitter and Facebook.

In addition he said that the average family's disposable income to spend on the weekly shop is down by fifteen quid on a year ago (Sept 11 vs Sept 10) and in fact that it has now fallen for 22 months on the trot.

Other interesting trivia included the news that KFC are opening a new "restaurant" in China every 18 hours. I put the word restaurant in brackets as we all know they are no more a restaurant than Victoria Beckham is a singer are they?

I mean if you told the missus that you were taking her out to a restaurant and in fact turned up at a KFC then you could expect a bit of an earbashing couldn't you? Even if you did treat her to the works: a bargain bucket, two litres of coke, a vienetta and half a dozen lemon-scented wet wipes. "Put some of them in yer handbag love, its cheaper and more convenient than that expensive Jean Paul Gaultier muck you normally douse yourself in."

I'm surprised that the corn bulls haven't got hold of this particular piece of information. Corn ends limit up as KFC open new 100-seater restaurant in Tiananmen Square. I'm turning bullish on lemon-scented wet wipes and little bags of salt too.