The Morning Rant

Posted by Nogger - a legend in his own mind at 11:14 | Categorized as

15/12/11 -- My newest mate Lourens in Argentina emails me to tell me that there is "no reason to panic" over dryness issues there just yet. He sends me this link to prove it: Eth, eth, eth, eth, eth, Chris Waddle. Scorchio. Rainio.. Which is unfortunately a local weather forecaster speaking in Spanish. What's wrong with the Queen's English? All weather forecasts should be in English, no matter what country they are for. We invented the weather just like we invented football, cats eyes and the telly. It's ours and we only let other countries have it because they pay us for it, just like the Premier League.

It seems that a brolly would make a nice Christmas present for your disgraced incontinent Aunty in Argentina with rain expected around Christmas Day. "Hot and wet can be nice," says Louren. Just like incontinence.

Elsewhere I read that one of the reasons that world markets fell out of bed yesterday was Angela Merkel saying something along the lines of that there would be no quick fix for the European debt crisis. Specialist subject: the bleedin obvious, as Basil Fawlty would say.

Sarkozy continues to make himself look like an even bigger "piquer" (Google it if you have to) than he did last week by accusing David Cameron of behaving like "an obstinate kid" in refusing to go along with last week's treaty changes. I strongly suspect that your Dad isn't bigger than Willie Carson, let alone Cameron's Dad, so just leave it will you Sarkozy before you get the rich kicking that you deserve.

Bad Boy ratings agency Fitch continue to run around like Edward Scissorhands on acid, cutting the credit ratings on Frog banks Crédit Agricole and Banque Federative du Crédit Mutuel and also the Finnish Pohjola Group, Holland’s Rabobank and Denmark’s Danske Bank.

The Daily Bellylaugh reports today that property prices in Beijing fell a whopping 35% last month. Yes in one month compared to the previous one. In signs that even China can't buck the trend forever: China's epic hangover begins

Yields at a Spanish bond auction today were slightly lower than previously, and well subscribed by all accounts. Even so the euro still looks about as popular as piles this morning.