Nogger's Blog

07/02/12 -- It's been running longer than the Mousetrap this particular saga, but the Greek tragedy rumbles on. The only ones doing well out of this particular farce must be the people who supply the tea and sandwiches for these meetings, they must be rolling in it. I bet there's not a prawn left to be had in Athens.

And why do prawn sandwiches always go first when you're in a meeting? It's because they're the most expensive thing on offer isn't it? Happens the world over that does. First the prawns, then the meat, and finally the stupid poxy egg or cream cheese and chive concoction. They've been trying to get shot of the same cream cheese with chive butty at the last half dozen meetings I've been to. You've probably been offered it yourself.

"No thanks, I'm full," you say, even though if there were any prawn sarnies left on offer you'd be filling your fat face 'til the cows came home wouldn't you. But of course the "mixed tray" only had two prawn butties on it didn't it. There might be one or two passable chicken or ham salad on offer if you're quick, but otherwise the tray is awash with cream cheese and chives and some cacky egg thing that looks like baby food.

Once the cheese and chives have been swept into the bin you can feast on crisps and cans of pop. Maybe a cup of tea and a few biscuits, chocolate hobnobs if you're really lucky, but a plain old digestive will suffice for most occasions I find.

Unless you're in Rotterdam. There it is the norm in my experience to have a glass fronted fridge full of beer in the board room. They know how to have a meeting the Dutch. Loads of beer, followed by an adjournment for loads of beer, followed by a visit to a club for more beer. And not any old club, we're not talking the flat cap, a whippet and a pint of bitter for £1.30 sort of a club. We're talking semi naked page 3 girls eager to pull you a large one. And after they've finished pulling it for you they whip the top off your froth with a special little thing that they have. I'm telling you, I've seen it with me own eyes.

All meetings should be in Rotterdam, that's where the Greeks are going wrong.