21/02/12 -- It seems strange to be talking about drought in February, but just about every tabloid newspaper and even our own beloved BBC have jumped on this particular bandwagon this week it seems.

Already 2012 is being talked of as the driest for decades with comparisons with 1976 abounding. It may surprise you to hear that I was alive in 1976, contrary to my youthful appearance. We went to Scarborough for our holidays in fact as I clearly recall. And it pissed it down so hard one day that we had to sit and wait in the car (posh see, had our own car we did) for it to ease off a bit before we got out.

"It's not rained here for three days," one concerned farmer in a small village deep in the heart of Cambridgeshire said. "I've filled both the indoor and outdoor pools up to the brim as well as all seventeen baths in our fourteen bedroom Jacobean Manor House, I've also washed all the Range Rovers, the Merc, the little run around Porche and the Jag as well just in case," he added.

"I remember 1976 well, the Wurzels topped the charts with their beautiful haunting ballad I Got A Brand New Combine Harvester and Daddy bought Essex," he reminisced.

"Things were tough back then. Daddy had to do quite a lot of the work himself in those days you know. He didn't have SatNav or TomTom like we do these days. There they are over there, give them a little wave. Good workers these Eastern European types, do anything for you. Good boy TomTom. Look, stick, stick. Fetch. Go get it SatNav. Good boy."