My Goat Has Been Got
Winding me up this morning is:
"Hello, are you the owner of this phone number?"
"Yes. It's either that or I'm a burglar. A very polite burglar mind. Or one with a pathological hatred of ringing phones."
"Ah, you funny man. Hello Sir, my name is Adam (funny name for a bloke in Mumbai), I'm from XX Market Research, I promise I will only take one minute of your time."
"Right, well get on with it Adam as the clock is ticking."
"Yes Sir, and how are you today, did you watch the football last night, it's a lovely day here with me what's it like with you? This really will only take a minute of your precious time, I promise you that Sir. But before we start can I just say that this call is being recorded for training purposes. Now then can you please confirm that you are the owner of this telephone line?"
"You've almost wasted your entire minute Adam mate, I'd get a move on if I was you."
"Yes, Sir, you funny man. Now then this will only take a minute, are you the owner of this phone line Sir?"
I make a noise like the end of Countdown, di di, di di, diddle doo and put the phone down.
Thirty seconds later "Adam" is back on the line, except he isn't called Adam now he's called Jack.
"Hello there Sir, my name is Jack, I'm from XX Market Research, I promise I will only take one minute of your time. And how are you today, did you watch the football last night, it's a lovely day here with me what's it like with you? This really will only take a minute of your precious time, I promise you that Sir. But before we start can I just say that this call is being recorded for training purposes."
Well train on this Jackie Boy...I give him a concise list of every expletive in the English language, repeating several of them just in case he didn't quite catch them the first time round, whist explaining don't tell me you're only going to take a minute and then take ten minutes explaining that you're only going to take a minute. Smashing the phone back onto it's cradle with such force that MrsN#3 comes rushing in to see if the ginger kid over the road has smashed another window with his wayward cricketing.
"Don't tell me to calm down, I'm calm, I've never been so balls bustard buggering calm in all my bustard buggering life HAVE I ADAM, OR JACK, OR WHATEVER YOU BUGGERING BUSTARD BALL BREAKING BUGGERING NAME IS? WELL HAVE I? COME ON CALL ME BACK AND TELL ME. NOW."
"Hello, are you the owner of this phone number?"
"Yes. It's either that or I'm a burglar. A very polite burglar mind. Or one with a pathological hatred of ringing phones."
"Ah, you funny man. Hello Sir, my name is Adam (funny name for a bloke in Mumbai), I'm from XX Market Research, I promise I will only take one minute of your time."
"Right, well get on with it Adam as the clock is ticking."
"Yes Sir, and how are you today, did you watch the football last night, it's a lovely day here with me what's it like with you? This really will only take a minute of your precious time, I promise you that Sir. But before we start can I just say that this call is being recorded for training purposes. Now then can you please confirm that you are the owner of this telephone line?"
"You've almost wasted your entire minute Adam mate, I'd get a move on if I was you."
"Yes, Sir, you funny man. Now then this will only take a minute, are you the owner of this phone line Sir?"
I make a noise like the end of Countdown, di di, di di, diddle doo and put the phone down.
Thirty seconds later "Adam" is back on the line, except he isn't called Adam now he's called Jack.
"Hello there Sir, my name is Jack, I'm from XX Market Research, I promise I will only take one minute of your time. And how are you today, did you watch the football last night, it's a lovely day here with me what's it like with you? This really will only take a minute of your precious time, I promise you that Sir. But before we start can I just say that this call is being recorded for training purposes."
Well train on this Jackie Boy...I give him a concise list of every expletive in the English language, repeating several of them just in case he didn't quite catch them the first time round, whist explaining don't tell me you're only going to take a minute and then take ten minutes explaining that you're only going to take a minute. Smashing the phone back onto it's cradle with such force that MrsN#3 comes rushing in to see if the ginger kid over the road has smashed another window with his wayward cricketing.
"Don't tell me to calm down, I'm calm, I've never been so balls bustard buggering calm in all my bustard buggering life HAVE I ADAM, OR JACK, OR WHATEVER YOU BUGGERING BUSTARD BALL BREAKING BUGGERING NAME IS? WELL HAVE I? COME ON CALL ME BACK AND TELL ME. NOW."
