Nogger's Blog

25/11/10 -- Look at the date, it's only a month to go folks, and it's just started snowing too. Perfectly on cue as I'm driving all the way from North Yorkshire to Devon tomorrow, so six foot of snow is a nailed-on certainty. As too are jack-knifed lorries on the M42. Hurrah! I knew I should have bought them snow chains.

The impressively organised MrsN#3 has everything bought and wrapped already. Unsurprisingly I haven't made much of a dent in her stuff myself yet. Stumbling round the scanty department of M&S at 4.30 on Christmas Eve is a kind of tradition in the Nogger household. "What size is she, Sir?" "About twice the size of yours darlin'" always seems to get me somewhere in the ballpark.

They don't do peep-holes though, not even in black, but you can always snip a bit off can't you - although it does tend to invalidate their returns policy I find. The number of years I've had to call for the manager the day after Boxing Day in M&S is unbelievable. "They were like this when I bought them sunshine" or "moths?" and a threat of physical violence usually does the trick though.

To my surprise last year's effort at putting stuff in those shiny bags you can buy in all sizes these days went down rather well. Considering that the obvious truth was "sorry love, I couldn't be bothered wrapping them."

I hope she's impressed with the year planner this time round. I think I'm on safe ground there, as I say she does like to be organised so I figure that I'm helping her get even better at what she likes to be.

More Christmas tips coming soon, like: "how to get your money back from Moss Bros on a vomit-stained dinner jacket" and the vital "Nogger guide to a trip to the Ann Summers shop."