Defra To Launch Find The Wheat Competition?

13/01/11 -- Defra, which is an acronym for inept, have had a good rummage down the back of their old settee and managed to scrape together an extra 45,000 MT of wheat from last year's UK crop.

They now peg UK production for 2010 fractionally higher at 14.88 MMT, 3% up on 2009. For reasons that are unclear to all but them they peg UK exports for the whole 2010/11 marketing year (July/June) at only 1.33 MMT. Surely they must know that we've already exported more than that already?

Carryover at the end of the current season was left unchanged at 2 MMT. If ever there was a case of think of the number you want to end with and work backwards then this is surely it.

I'd like to know where they think that 2 MMT is going to be at the end of June. Maybe they are planning on running a competition? Providing us with a series of clues to run round the country in our 4x4's trying to locate it. "I'm not in a store, I'm not in a shed, I'm not in a silo, but I am in my head. Where am I?" that sort of thing.

I think that's a great idea, they could bring out a Nintendo Wii version and call it the Big Grain Academy. With Jamie Redknapp sitting in his lounge trying to find it, without realising that it's down the back of the very settee that he's sat on.

That Louise is useless when it comes to putting the hoover round I reckon, and it's just kind of built up over the past couple of years.